What kind of person am I? Selfish? Selfless? Or maybe I am just complacent. The kind who is unconcerned. I don't know anymore. I love my family. I love my Papa. I love my siblings. I love them all. But I love my self. I love my future. I love my baby Destin. I just don't know how to handle things anymore, I don't want to hurt them. I don't want to ditch them just because I now have my Destin. I don't know how to tell them my situation. I don't want to walk away from my responsibilities just because I now have my own but where else would I scrounge for more money? What else will I do, I would love to work overtime just so I could give even a scanty amount to my family but I don't want to castigate myself with so much work and stress. Life is hard, life is a pain sometimes yet I am a happy person. I don't want to frown just because I only have pennies in my wallet and that two dollar bill my cousin gave me as a souvenir.
I want the best in life. I want everything to be perfect for my little Destin. Yet my Papa's bombarding me with so much problems at home. I can't say no to them. Had I known this would happen, I would have planned it the best way. Yet there are things in life that would come in surprise. Things that would come inevitably without knocking on your doors. And that is my Destin. He's a surprise I never expected (surprise is meant to be unexpected).
At this moment I just could not tremble and cry because it would not make the situation better anyway. Whatever God gives me, I know it's given for a reason.
Destin you are here for a reason. I am your mother for a reason. I love you Baby Destin.
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